XXIII_MPFW

The Truth: "Carl, do you know how many satellites the government has in space?"
Carl Johnson: "No. How many?"
The Truth: "Twenty-three. Do you know how many biblical artifacts the government is keeping at the Pentagon?"
Carl Johnson: "No."
The Truth: "Twenty-three. Don't you see a pattern here?"

Do you know what number "Mike's Place For Words" I'm on? Twenty-three! I just had to use that funny conversation from Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas for this one. Before I get to our most anticipated live review of CHIKARA "The Global Gauntlet Night 2", I made the following for Tim Donst. He said that people want to see it as a t-shirt, so there's a possibility of that happening. Feel free to use it:

I left home early so I can head to Game Stop and pick up ROCK BAND 2! WOOO!!! The review of that will be in Number 24. Me and my bro made the usual trip to the familiar sights and smells of South Philadelphia. I got to see Yolanda and Boney the Dog from Smart Wrestling Fan here. At the merch table, they had a lot of stuff for Big Japan. I also got a keychain of a wrestler from Big Japan. I don't know who it is, but I got it because it looks cool.

I got the CHIKARA show from Ohio on DVD, and one of the discs was signed by Mike Quackenbush! Unfortunately, I got home and the DVD was left at the arena and now lost forever. It's a shame because I really wanted to see that show. I emailed CHIKARA and they didn't find it at the arena. So there's $20 down the drain. I've gotten over it because it could've been worse. I do NOT want to illegally download that show, because illegally downloading wrestling is wrong. I doubt anybody would be interested, but if you would like to buy me the DVD or can just send a small donation, that would be awesome. If not, no big deal. If somebody buys me the whole DVD, I'm sure I can send you something awesome as a thank you. Enough of my misfortunes, let's get on to this great CHIKARA show! IT'S ON! IT'S ON!

CHIKARA "The Global Gauntlet Night 2" live review

STIGMA and Colin Delaney def. The Sea Donsters (Tim Donst and Hydra)
Fun opener here. Hydra is now wearing a singlet and I think he should get some headgear as well. Colin Delaney attempted a People's Elbow, but Tim Donst ended up doing his own version. STIGMA hit the tombstone piledriver on Hydra for the win.

Post match, Vin Gerard comes to the ring. He invites Jigsaw, who is in attendance, to the ring. He tries to get Jigsaw to join the UnStable. Jigsaw superkicks STIGMA, then gets jumped by the other UnStable members. Mike Quackenbush comes out for the save and says "Now we're even."

Lince Dorado def. Icarus
Lince came to the ring on a scooter and before the match, he and Icarus had a scooter race around the ring, which Lince won. At one point, Icarus was draped on the ropes. Lince ran at him, Icarus pulled the ropes down and Lince cross-body blocked to the concrete floor with a huge thud. He landed right on my foot though, which I hope broke his fall and prevented him from breaking something. Lince wins a good match with a C-4 followed by a top-rope shooting star press. Crowd was beginning to cheer Lince more, but I think that was mostly the kids.

Incoherence (Delirious and Hallowicked) def. UltraMantis Black and Crossbones
UltraMantis Black came to the ring with a pumpkin. He said that this is what he was going to do to Incoherence, and then began doing pulled kicks and punches on the pumpkin. It was funny because everybody thought they were going to smash it. This was a good match. Delirious got the pin after the Shadows over Hell on Crossbones.

Jimmy Olsen def. Vin Gerard
Jimmy came to the ring dressed as Equinox complete with his old entrance music. Vin Gerard was in complete shock and Jimmy really got into the head of Vin. So here's the ultimate dream match people thought could only happen in Fire Pro, Equinox vs. Vin Gerard. There were lots of "Equinox" chants which got more under the skin of Vin. Vin goes for the running knee, at one point, but slips on the ropes. So Vin Gerard had more botches than Equinox in this match, and Equinox was more over than he ever was. Jimmy "Equinox" Olsen wins a nice match with the CHIKARA Special.

The Osirian Portal (Amasis and Ophidian) def. The Super Smash Bros. (Player Uno and Player Dos) to win the CHIKARA Campeonatos de Parejas, 2 falls to 1
This was originally a non-title match, but since The Portal their third point the previous night, it became a title match. The Portal went after them quick and got their first fall after the Osirian Sacrament, the splash-leg drop combo. The second fall went to Super Smash Bros. after Dos gave Ophidian the Final Smash. Amasis was able to get the final fall and complete victory after pausing Uno, tripping him and getting the fall. Great match and probably my favorite CHIKARA tag title match I've seen. My pick for MOTN and one of my picks for CHIKARA MOTY.

Intermission time. I bought a nice Big Japan poster for only $3! Me and my bro also saw UltraMantis Black and Crossbones. My bro was wearing a Tim Donst shirt and I was wearing a Hydra shirt. We asked them if they liked are shirts. Crossbones claimed that my bro would get a rash and that my nipples will fall off. Now back to the main event.

Team CHIKARA def. Team Big Japan in the Global Gauntlet
I thought this match would have cibernetico rules, but it was just an elimination match type of thing. In this match we also had the most annoying fan I've ever heard. He didn't shut up the entire hour-long match. He shouted expert tips like "Get up!" and "Hit him!" and "Don't be lazy!" For the ants he shouted "Use the antenna!" He even shouted "E-A-G-L-E-S Eagles!" many times. Besides him, the match turned out great. Some of the Big Japan guys had bodies covered in scars from doing so many deathmatches. It started out neh since Gran Akuma and Jaki Numazawa didn't communicate well. Katsumasa Inoue was incredibly stiff. It got a lot better when Eddie Kingston came out since he was way over and the crowd got more into it. The finish was great when the beastly Daisuke Sekimoto came out, eliminated Mike Quackenbush and had an awesome finish with Claudio Castagnoli. Sekimoto even got a "Please come back" chant at the end. Here's the eliminations:

-Jaki Numazawa eliminated Gran Akuma by fouling him (with the ref distracted) followed by a spinning Samoan drop.
-Fire Ant eliminated Jaki Numazawa by DQ since the ref caught Jaki fouling Fire.
-Atsushi Ohashi eliminated Fire Ant via yoshi-tonic.
-Soldier Ant eliminated Atsushi Ohashi via TKO.
-Katsumasa Inoue eliminated Soldier Ant via tiger suplex.
-Worker Ant eliminated Katsumasa Inoue via cradle pin.
-Shinya Ishikawa eliminated Worker Ant via roaring elbow.
-Eddie Kingston eliminated Shinya Ishikawa via Backfist to the Future.
-Ryuji Ito eliminated Eddie Kingston via Dragon Splash (frog splash).
-Mike Quackenbush eliminated Ryuji Ito via CHIKARA Special.
-Mike Quackenbush eliminated Yuji Okabayashi via flash pin (he did a move before it, but I forget which one).
-Daisuke Sekimoto eliminated Mike Quackenbush via deadlift German suplex.
-Claudio Castagnoli eliminated Daisuke Sekimoto via Ricola Bomb.

Overall, very good show. Buy the DVD when available. I would love to see Big Japan represented in the next King of Trios, assuming there is one. Not a bad match in the bunch. The tag title match was my MOTN like I said. The Global Gauntlet concept seemed very successful and I hope it becomes a yearly event. Post show, I got my poster signed by Jaki Numazawa, Ryuji Ito and Daisuke Sekimoto.

I hope you enjoyed this one. I'm already working on the next one which will have my reviews of Rock Band 2 and Age of Booty from the Xbox Live Arcade. I got a DVD review of CHIKARA "Vanity and Violence" in there too. Also, on Wednesday the 22nd, Portal: Still Alive is released for the XBLA! I might squeeze a review of that in there too. I got excited when I heard it's coming that day because I thought it would be out later in the year. So all of that and maybe more next time!